What not to make in Japan

Taking a play on words from Rory's site, this is what not to make in Japan. Seriously, some of this food could kill you if you are not in good health!
















Exhibit A: Japanese extreme super dragon funny death MSG action food.

Seriously, do not even attempt to eat this if you are not in excellent health. In fact, even if you are in excellend health, this should not be eaten. Even eating half of this dish could change your status from "excellent health" to "grossly obese."

The contents of this meal include two sauce dishes. The top sauce consists of mayo and ketchup. These are to be mixed together, and have various food dipped into. This is not good for your health. In fact, when this was fed to a lab rat back in '95, the rat gained 1.3 kilograms, slipped into a coma for 4 months, and then died.

The other sauce is simply soy sauce and wasabi. This is actually healthy for you. For maximum health benefits, the wasabi should be eaten on it's own, with no other food. This has been known to cure such diseases as cancer, AIDS, and even pregnancy in some cases.

The top food dish is three different types of meat sticks; chicken, cow, and (possibly) aged goat liver (circa 1985). It is said that David Lee Roth ate this same dish after leaving the rock band "Van Halen", and lost his hair. In other words, this dish is a major cause of male pattern baldness. I should not have eaten this, and neither should any person who still has hair on their head.

The bottom dish contains an assortment of fried veggies, meats, and unidentifiable products. All of these things are laced with near-lethal dosages of MSG. As science has recently shown, MSG causes anmesia in arctic penguins. These penguins often forget that they are penguins from the arctic, and believe that they are businessmen in suits. So, if you are a businessman in a suit, and have eaten some food laced with MSG, there is a good chance that you are not who you think you are. You may actually be an arctic penguin. If you find yourself wearing a suit, while mindlessly sitting in an office, you need to seek help immediately.



















Exhibit B: Triple layer french toast, bacon, cheese and maple syrup.

If exhibit A looked nasty, you haven't seen anything yet. This dish will make you fat, give you cancer, possibly give you AIDS, and then kill you if not eaten properly. It contains three layers of french toast (made with 8 egg yokes, 500 ml of 50/50 cream made from fat and "gently handled" Greek goats, and donut bread), mozzarella cheese, arctic penguin bacon (put down because of a severe case of anmesia), and maple syrup.

I was extremely lucky to survive such a meal. Julius Caesar ate this meal every March, and it killed him.