The Personality Quiz

Jessica posted this quiz on her site, so I decided to take it. Let's see what kind of a person I am...

1) You go for a walk in a forest. Who's with you?

Nobody, I am alone. Unless you count YHVH, or the flask of rye in my jacket pocket.


2) You come across an animal. What kind of animal is it?

Holy shit! It's a sasquatch!


3) What kind of interaction do you have with this animal?

Offer him some rye. The sasquatch is now drunk. His alcohol tolerance was very low, since he'd never drank before. I pull out a pack of cards. All of the queens are missing. In my drunken state, I confuse the sasquatch for a Native American maiden. I think that she is beautiful. We play strip poker and I loose. The sasquatch now has my clothes. I am naked in the bush and have no rye left. Things are not looking good.


4) You continue walking through the forest until you come to a clearing where you see your dream home. What size is it?

There's an old worn, one-room, ranger's cabin near the lake. It is stacked with Jack Daniel's and has a fireplace. I am happy.


5) Is there a fence surrounding it?

If you count a pile of firewood, a mosquito infested forest and a lake as a fence... I don't.


6) Upon entering the house you come across a dining room table. What is on it an around it?

There's a half-drunken bottle of JD and a full pack of playing cards on the table. Sweet! It's a small table that is pushed up against the window. There are a couple of old wooden chairs. Both of them have a bit of a wobble.


7) You notice a cup on the lawn. What is it made out of?

In my still rye-induced intoxication, I mistake the wild growth in front of the shack for a lawn and see a nearly empty bottle of JD... or urine, I'm not sure, in the ground. Figuring that either one should have an interesting effect on me, I drink it.


8) What do you do with that there cup?

Seeing that it's now empty, and that I'm in the middle of a forest... I relieve myself in it and throw it in the lake.


9) Then, imagining the forest doesn't actually exist, you come across a body of water. What kind of body of water is it?

I can't imagine that it doesn't exist, because it's right behind me!... oh... behind me... Alright, so there's the lake in front of me.


10) How do you cross it?

For a second I wonder what's on the other side. After that, I can't remember a thing. I probably blacked out from drinking too much. I have a headache and I'm lying on a large tree root. A sasquatch is licking the alcoholic drool from my chin. My head hurts.



Here's what the answers are supposed to mean:

1) This person is the most important to you in the world.

Apparently I'm a heartless prick who drinks to much and confuses native girls for large hairy animals.


2) The size of the animal you chose represents your perception of the kind of problems you have.

If a large drunken sasquatch with a taste for rye represents the problems that I have, then I have some very large, drunken and hairy problems.


3) What you do to/with the animal represents the severity of how you deal with your problems.

I must be a severe alcoholic who likes to share my problems with large, hairy creatures.


4) The size of the house indicates the amount of ambition you have.

I have the ambition of an old shack.


5) No fence means you have an open personality.

I have the personality of a tree?


6) If you said food, people, and other things I can't remember, you are a generally happy person.

I wonder what playing cards and a half bottle of booze means? I can say that it was not half empty. Nor was it half full. It just was.


7) The durability of your cup material represents the strength of your relationship with #1.

Every time that I've gotten hit over the head with a bottle of rye, it's hurt. Bottles of rye are very strong. This must mean that I have a strong relationship with nothing. I am more man than I've ever thought!


8) What you do with the cup is what you think of the durability of the relationship in #1.

I piss on nothing? Maybe I just piss on everything. The world is my toilet!


9) The size of the body of water relates to the 'size' of your sexual desires.

I wonder how the fishing is in this lake?


10) The wetter you get, the more important your sex life is.

I was drooling on myself, and a hairy bi-pedal animal was licking my face...